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“I
Was Gay” The Story of a First Century Greek Man By Jay Wegter My
name is Silvas. I am a Greek man from
the port city of Corinth southwest of Athens, Greece. I was gay, and I want to tell you the story of how I left the gay
lifestyle. Mine is a true story, but
cast as an historical novel. First
of all I want you to know that I am from a time and culture different than
yours in America. I was born in the
year A.D. 20, almost 2,000 years ago. As a first century Greek, I am all too
familiar with the orgiastic banquets
of the Romans. Not that my town is any
more upright. We’re
a port city with more bars and clubs than most cities. Sailors tired of months at sea bring their
paychecks and desires to our town and expect to satisfy their cravings. Personally,
I loathe the excesses of Rome with its crucifixions and blood-sport in the
Coliseum. As a teacher and bookseller,
I’ve read enough of the classics to know that virtue and cruelty are not
usually found in the same person. Now
here’s how it happened that I left homosexuality. A man came to the marketplace where I sell books on
weekends. He started speaking about a
God who had qualities that I’d never heard of in a deity. As
I listened to his message, there was a sense of wonder that came over me;
especially that love, justice, mercy, righteousness, and judgment could all
describe the same God. The idea that
this God cared deeply for the creatures that He had made grabbed my attention. Some
of my gay friends came by and told me not to listen. They said the man was just another fundamentalist preaching a
strict and intolerant morality. I
kept listening anyway. The more I
heard, the more interested I became.
All I could do was marvel at this message that the one true Creator God,
who became hated by His creatures, removed His royal robes and came to earth to
rescue people like me. At
first I was a bit insulted by the concept that I needed rescuing. Ever since beginning a gay lifestyle, I’d
seen heterosexual people as narrow and restricted, and myself as liberated,
even elite or superior. But
the more the man spoke of God’s rescuing love to rebels, the more his words
struck my conscience. Deep in my heart,
I knew I wasn’t a member of some elite community. I knew that if I ever became a father, I would not wish
homosexuality upon my children. My
conscience became increasingly active the more the man spoke. He said that God had given humanity a Moral
Law that was not only a perfect expression of His just character, he also said
that this Law, summed up in Ten Commandments, was the perfect safeguard of love
to God and neighbor. That
was something I had never thought of; obedience to God’s commands protects
love. Therefore, when I break one of
God’s commandments, I am sinning against love as God defines it. For example some of the commands are as
follows, “You shall not lie, you shall not steal, you shall not murder, and,
you shall not commit adultery.” When I lie or steal or murder, I am not loving
my neighbor. Other commands speak of having no other gods before the one true
God and to give Him proper respect as He commands us to. It is to our advantage
to live in harmony with the One who made us in the world He created. I do not
show love to God when I focus my life on things that take me away from God. The
speaker when on to say that our Creator designed us with His moral code written
on our consciences; and that this moral code embedded in the conscience totally
resonates with the truth of God’s objective moral laws. This
began to hit me between the eyes. My
homosexual activity was a violation the Law established by my Creator;
therefore my gay lifestyle must be hostile to God and to love. My
heart was pierced as I began to see that my own sense of betrayal in life had
been my personal excuse for giving expression to my lusts and cravings. I had willingly ‘swallowed’ a very subtle
lie; a lie that whispered to me that I could set aside God’s Law, and determine
right and wrong for myself, and then not face consequences in this life and in
eternity. My
mind was becoming clear at the same time that my heart was crushed because of
my sin. Willingly, I admitted that I
had allowed my own lusts and cravings to set the standard for my behavior. And I had chosen to run with people who were
doing the same thing I was—denying the warnings of conscience. What
I thought I belonged to, a misunderstood ‘community’ of very aesthetic and
sensitive people, was proving to be a group of individuals just like me. They were like me because they used what they
perceived as a persecuted status as a
cover for their guilt, shame, and addiction. Now
I was ready to cry out to God as He is revealed as Rescuer. The man I met
while selling books explained to me that God loves and rescues rebels by
removing their guilt and just condemnation, forgiving their rebellion,
crediting them with a record of virtue and justice done by Another, freely
accepting them because of this gracious transaction, and giving them a new life
with a new heart full of new desires for right living. If
anyone was ready to turn over a new leaf it was me; but could I be good enough to gain God’s favor? Just
then the man in marketplace spoke of God’s grace; that God receives rebels just
as they are if they will turn back to Him!
My heart opened to receive God’s love.
All my resistance to Divine love evaporated as I heard about what God
did to make my pardon and acceptance possible. Here’s
what this man said God had done to reconcile Himself to His rebellious
creatures. God’s eternal Son became a man, being born of a virgin, thus not
inheriting the sin nature and guilt of the rest of humanity. He was named
Jesus, which mean’s “God’s salvation.” He
lived a full life of obedience to God’s Law. He never rebelled. He loved God
the Father and other people perfectly. Therefore, He didn’t deserve the
sentence for rebellion which is death and eternal separation from God. This
life of perfect obedience is credited to those who believe in Him. As
the ultimate act of love, He willingly took upon Himself the punishment for our
rebellion, or sin, by dying in our place. Because of this, God is able to
forgive my sin legally, and freely.
With this inestimable gift of forgiveness comes a new heart that
longs to obey God’s Law. Because
Jesus paid the ultimate price, I was accepted by God and made a ‘new creature’
in His sight with new desires. The
cords that bound me to homosexuality were broken. I now see with new eyes what genuine love is. I
used to try to get my needs met by sinning.
But now there is nothing that can compare to experiencing God’s love in
Christ. When I first left
homosexuality, I feared that I would be drawn back to it. But something amazing has happened. My desires have been changed. It is a miracle. My longings have been re-created anew by God. You
must be wondering what book or account of history documents my story of
deliverance from homosexuality. You may
be surprised – it is found in the New Testament portion of the Bible. You can read the account for yourself of how
God rescued me in the First Letter to the Corinthians chapter six verses nine
through eleven. “Or do you not know that
the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor
adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor
drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And
such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but
you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of
our God.” |
