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Well-Intentioned
Dragons Ministering
to Problem People in the Church A Book Review By Massimo Lorenzini Shelley, Summary The subtitle to the book is "Ministering to Problem People in the Church." That's a good description of what this book is about. In the introduction to his book, Shelley defines what a "dragon" is. He says that church dragons are usually well-meaning saints who are strong and active members in the church, but who, for whatever reason, cause serious problems in the church. They do not intentionally set out to destroy the ministry of the church, but with their narrow vision and unredemptive attitude they end up opposing the pastor or other leader and undermine the church. This book is about ministering with dragons in the flock. Chapter one is titled "Complex Conflicts." Shelly tells some stories of people who have experienced the wrath of the dragon. Dragons major on minors and miss the point. That is, they consistently take the attention away from the big picture of the church's ministry by blowing a minor issue out of proportion. No matter how many times one may try to satisfy one’s criticism there is always something else. Dragons keep the pastor on the defensive and drain him with their constant attacks. Shelley concludes this chapter by saying that "The goal in handling dragons is not to destroy them, not merely to disassociate, but to make them disciples" (p.34). Chapter two is titled "Identifying a Dragon." Shelley catalogs many varieties of dragons identified in churches by pastors. A couple of examples are the "bird dog" who loves to point out every problem to the pastor that needs his immediate attention and the "sniper" who avoids face-to-face conflict but picks off pastors with pot shots in private conversation (i.e. the gossiper). Dragons look normal. The distinguishing characteristic is not what is said but how it's said. Often they have a spirit that enjoys being an adversary rather than an ally. They destroy morale. Shelley says, "You find yourself not planning, not thinking of the future, not seeking a vision for the church--you’re just trying to survive" (p.42). In chapter three Shelley discusses personal attacks and how to respond. He says, "When attacked by a dragon, do not become one" (p.61). In chapter four Shelley covers "The Play for Power." Shelley advises that the answer for the dragon who is seeking power is to be "nice...and firm" (p.67). In chapter five Shelley offers "The Best Defense," which he says is to concentrate on building a healthy church. He lists several ways to do this. Chapter six is the "Second-Best Defense." Shelley says, "If the church itself is not healthy, the place to start is by building a healthy board" (p.95). Chapter seven is titled "When the Dragon May Be Right." Shelley gives some ways to discern any truth to the criticisms of the dragon. Chapter eight is "When It's Time to Confront." Shelley says the thing to confront is not different ideas but destructive actions. The goal is not to slay but to tame the dragon. Chapter nine is "When There's No Resolution." Shelley suggests to give it time, keep perspective, and learn firm forgiveness (no matter the cost).In the epilogue, Shelley says that it is life among others, including dragons, that provides the opportunity for us to develop and practice the virtues and qualities that God requires. Evaluation I found this book to be refreshingly honest and also a serious wake-up call to people who are going into full-time ministry and have yet to meet a dragon face to face in a ministry situation. There is ample practical advice for dealing with dragons, born not out of mere theory, but from the actual experiences of many pastors. I also appreciated the fact that the author has a redemptive attitude toward dragons rather than a self-preserving one. He provided a very Christ-like response. It is advisable that if, or better when, one comes across dragons in ministry one must be keeping up a healthy prayer life to be able to minister to adversarial type people. One needs to be filled with the Spirit in order to overcome the natural inclination to self-preservation and remain humble enough to focus on the real issues. I can probably apply most of the first seven chapters without too much difficulty. The last two are the ones that would be a challenge for me. Chapter eight is "When It's Time to Confront." This is difficult for me because I naturally tend to go to the extremes of not confronting or not exercising enough tact and wanting to put the person "in their place." Shelley talks about the attitude in confronting, the atmosphere for confronting, and the approach to confronting. The approach he suggests is the one offered by Jesus in Matthew 18. Chapter nine is "When There's No Resolution." Shelley's first suggestion is give it time. This is difficult for me because I want progress. I don't have patience to tolerate negative situations. Secondly, he says keep perspective. By this Shelley means to keep the situation in proper proportion; that it's probably really not as big of a deal as it may seem. This also is difficult for me because I want things to be right. It is hard for me to get my mind off of unfinished business. Finally, Shelley says to learn firm forgiveness. This may be the most difficult for me. When someone does something that hurts others, or me, or the church body, part of me wants justice, especially if the person is not repentant. But God wants us to forgive and leave the justice to Him. I must surrender my will to Him, and this leaves me without any control of the situation. It is God's church and I must let Him have His way. His way is to redeem sinners of which I am one. This book is one I need to have in my library if I ever pastor
a church. It contains so much practical help that I
can see myself turning to it again and again to successfully minister to
problem people in the church.
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