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The Conscience, the Cross, and Family Dynamics by Jay Wegter
“Sin
makes cowards of us all” (Paul Zahl, Who Will Deliver Us?). The human condition is such that the law
of God continually judges us and finds us wanting. Not one of us can say that we have loved God with all of our
heart, soul, mind and strength for even an hour. According to the book of Romans, the
judgment of the law is internalized in the conscience (Rom 2). The law operates in the conscience as a
principle of self-condemnation. The law
judges us wanting if we are not found capable of perfect obedience. According to Scripture, our response to
this condemnation of conscience is fear of punishment – “fear has to do
with punishment” (1 Jn 4:18). We will
do almost anything to ward off threats of condemnation – we will go to great
lengths to defend against judgment. Because our consciences carry a deep
sense of moral failure against God’s law, much energy is exerted in seeking to
avoid any additional condemnation. In his book on the present power of the
cross, Paul Zahl explains to what degree our lives are involved in attempts to
steer clear of judgment. (He asks his readers to recall some humiliating event
from their childhood. The emotional pain
from it has etched it into the memory -- we want to avoid further exposure to
humiliation at all cost.) Due to our depravity, human nature cannot
adequately meet judgment. According to
the Bible, it is impossible work our way out of condemnation. The harder we try to live up to the law, the
worse we feel about our failure (Paul Zahl, Who Will Deliver Us?, p.
38). Our greatest need is personal atonement
for guilt. Zahl notes that much of our
working and striving involves an attempt to offset or “atone” for our
failure. Like an accounting spread
sheet, we try to pencil into our consciences more credits than debits! The law makes its overtures to us as we
attempt to minister to our fear of judgment.
The law beckons us to return to the legal principle of
justification by works – “I am what I do.”
We become stuck in patterns of performance. Self-righteousness begins contaminating our works. Our carnal efforts to carry our own worth
and relieve our own consciences always fail.
The verdict of conscience can only be brought into line with the verdict
of heaven (justification) by fresh acts of faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ
(Jerry Bridges, The Discipline of Grace, p. 53). The
flesh has strategies to avoid judgment. The biblical prototype of all subsequent
attempts to escape judgment is Adam’s flight from God in Eden: “I heard your
voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; so I hid myself”
(Gen 3:10). The effort to ward off
judgment is expressed in the form of strategies that fall under three
heads: The first
strategy
involves the effort to escape condemnation by ESCAPE (or splitting off from
reality). Absenting our inner self does
not completely quiet the voice of condemnation. Our attempts to “turn off” the conscience by a denial of judgment
ultimately fail. (We can recall the
attempts of a number of biblical characters who used this strategy: Pilate in
Mt 27:24; Nabal in 1 Sam 25:36-38; or Felix in Acts 24:25.) A second
strategy
that is used to ward off the threat of judgment is OPEN RESISTANCE. This involves an attempt to take on the
judgment “head on” with a defense or even with defiance. (Biblical figures who employed open
resistance or were defiant in the face of judgment were: Pharoah in Ex 5:2; Job
in Jb 23:1-7; Zedekiah in Jer 36:23-25; the Jewish refugees under Jeremiah in
Jer 44:15-18.) A third
strategy used
to ward off judgment is APPEASEMENT. Of
the three, this strategy is dealt with in the greatest detail in
Scripture. Saul of Tarsus sought to win
God’s favor by law-keeping. Saul sought
to appease God and win His friendship by successfully adhering to the law (Phil
3:4-6; Gal 1:14). The APPEASEMENT strategy recognizes the superior
force of the judgment that is faced.
It is aware of personal vulnerability.
“This strategy attempts to negotiate for peace with the hostile powers
of condemnation, hoping for the best” (Zahl, Who Will Deliver Us? p.
22). Appeasement
tragically fails to eliminate the threat of judgment. The tragic flaw of the appeasement
strategy is the resentment that accompanies it. One may use words to negotiate for peace, but the inner man
resents the arrangement. In this case,
the one using appeasement feels he has too much to lose by standing up to the
opposing force and defending himself (Zahl, p. 22). Each time the appeaser compromises, he
becomes more furious on the inside (thus resentment is bred). Appeasement is an attempt to take upon
oneself the burden of another’s judgment and thereby disarm it. “It means accepting the judgment as
correct and bowing to it in the hope of withstanding it. It is undertaken as a means of making
friends with it. Unfortunately, this
never happens. As soon as we bow to a
human being or institution in judgment over us, we are in their power. We will never be good enough to satisfy
them” (Zahl, p. 22). Zahl observes that appeasement is
degrading because we know that it is only a temporary measure – it forestalls,
but does not eliminate the reckoning we fear.
“Appeasement will always feel compulsory; it is always accompanied by
anger. We can open negotiations, but it
is never enough, the judge will not be satisfied by anything we do” (Zahl, p.
24). Control
of others by guilt, (or by their fear of judgment), involves an attempt to bind
the conscience. The opponents of
the Apostle Paul sought to bring the Galatians into bondage by means of the
conscience. The Judaizers wanted to bind
the consciences of the believers in Galatia. The Jewish false teachers were seeking control over others. They made a solicitation to the Galatians
that involved accepting a certain criterion for “conscience management.” But Paul admonishes his readers to stay
free! “Do not be subject again to a
yoke of slavery” (Gal 5:1). Stephen Olford notes that legalists are
not interested in alleviating bondage.
They want to keep guilt in place because it is the means by which they
control others (Stephen Olford, Anointed Expository Preaching, p. 35). Paul makes it clear in Galatians that the
person who seeks to bind the consciences of others dishonors the work of the
atonement. By contrast, the Holy Spirit
“points to the blood of Christ.” The
Spirit keeps bringing spiritual freedom and liberty because He ministers the
blood of Christ to the conscience (Heb 9:14; 10:22). Olford indicates that the Holy Spirit personalizes
the redemptive work of Christ as we yield moment by moment (Olford, p.
37). A person who uses guilt as a major means
of manipulation is demonstrating that that his or her conscience is not at
peace. A lifestyle of blame/shame never
vindicates us. We cannot raise
ourselves up above condemnation by transferring our fear of judgment to the
conscience of another. Holding others “hostage” by attempting to
keep their guilt in place cannot protect us from judgment. Instead it is a very telling symptom that one’s
conscience is not managed by the blood of Christ. A prominent family counselor makes the following observation.
When we lash the conscience of another person, it is a strategy learned in
childhood; it is practiced in order to feel powerful. To abandon the behavior is to feel a loss of power. God’s only method for bringing peace to
the conscience of the believer is by renewed “views” of our suffering
Substitute. The justice our conscience
cries out for against ourselves and those who have offended us is found only in
the atonement of Calvary. Our
conscience only comes to a full rest when it sees (by faith) justice against
sin carried out in the bloody death of the Son of God. The powers of darkness have much to gain
by keeping guilt in place in the conscience.
As Puritan John Owen states, even one sin circulating within the
conscience is enough to discourage us from drawing near to the throne of grace
with confidence. Concerning guilt in the conscience,
Robert Haldane warns that “No sin can be crucified either in heart or life,
unless it be first pardoned in conscience. . .” (Robert Haldane, An
Exposition of the Book of Romans, pp. 253-254). The
atonement of Christ is God’s plan to free His people from fear. Because we live our lives under
judgment, our greatest need is personal atonement for guilt. In the counsels of eternity, God planned
that our judgment and condemnation would be assumed by Another. Central to the Good News is that the Son of
God did a voluntary guilt transfer. The atonement is a “cosmic moral
transfer” of infinite worth. The
atonement disarms and frees us from the law.
Because of my sin, the condemnation of the law was my chief adversary. But now, the empty tomb carries the
atonement into the eternal present (Zahl, p. 41). Now humanity’s designated meeting
place with God is the same for every person – it is true fellowship with the
Trinity based on true freedom from judgment. Our problem as believers is that
indwelling sin keeps disturbing the conscience with fear of judgment. We find it difficult to reckon that the full
force of our judgment fell upon the Son of God. We are still searching for atonement
to answer our fear. We often act out of
guilt; seeking to discharge a debt, win approval, appease. The old strategies of escape, open
resistance, and appeasement still hold attraction for us. The heart is drawn to self-righteous merit
systems – we want to have a part in carrying and proving our worth to ourselves
and others. The Gospel is the only antidote to
our hiding, rage, defensiveness, and self pity. In order to daily experience its healing grace, we must consent
to be represented and protected by the Son of God. The Gospel’s message of
justification teaches us that the righteousness of Christ is put on our account
– it is imputed to us. Our worth as
believers is upheld by Christ and His work.
This is life- transforming, for infinite worth and credit have been
assigned to us! The atonement is freedom from
judgment because God’s verdict about us in Christ has the power to evaporate
all other verdicts (Rom 8:31-34).
(Verdicts of condemnation come from people, demons, and God’s law – only
the blood of Christ can silence these.) Herein is the success of the
atonement to heal our fear. By God’s
plan we may become as we are regarded.
Though we carry feelings of condemnation and worthlessness, God regards
us as righteous in Christ and free from condemnation. The Gospel is able to penetrate the
most guarded prisons of the heart. All
the carnal fortresses we have raised to protect ourselves against judgment harm
our relationship with others. What is
needed is courage and healing; the Gospel provides both. The
Gospel makes us heroes in our dealings with sin and conscience. So much of our energy goes into the
effort to resist the verdicts of others, we forget to run to the
atonement. But, Christ’s work is where
we find heroism and courage to face our own sinful imperfections. The great reformer Martin Luther had
a problem as a priest. He couldn’t understand
how a perfectly holy God could accept him when he was so filled with sin and
imperfection. At one point Luther
protested, “Love God? I feel I hate Him!” (When Luther uttered these words, he
felt it impossible to be good enough to gain divine acceptance.) In His grace, God showed Luther the
biblical doctrine of justification by faith.
The world has not been the same since.
Luther wrote volumes on the practical value of justification. Here is his formula for heroism and courage
in dealing with sin and conscience: according to the Gospel, the believer is
justified, yet a sinner. Therefore, he may be absolutely honest about
his sin without jeopardizing his perfect status in Christ. The Reformer’s point is vital. The imputation of Christ’s righteousness
draws the blood of Christ into real situations. This is the basis for radical heroism; I can be a very imperfect
person who is honest about his transgressions and offenses without losing my
perfect standing in Christ. I don’t
have to prove my worth (by using carnal strategies) because the Gospel
proclaims the affirmation of my worth in a most dramatic way. The Gospel
literally gives me permission, even urges me, to give up fleshly strategies for
personal worth (Zahl, p. 73). The
sin of self-justification needlessly makes others into adversaries. Paul Zahl practically X-rays the
human heart when he makes the following observations: When I become depressed,
it is usually through the gateway of someone else’s perception of me as
I perceive it. I feel my own weakness
so heavily, it seems to express the whole truth about my life. Depression provides a clue to our
need for value to be assigned to us.
The absence of positive value can incarcerate us in a prison of
depression. The only real and lasting cure
must fulfill our need of value. Union
with Christ decisively answers this need, nothing else can. Because we are sinners, we carry a
sense of condemnation and fear of judgment.
Just below the surface, we feel our impotence, fear, weakness and fragility. Because of this, the slightest thing can
make us feel diminished. Due to our desperate need of worth,
we tend to suspect the worst about ourselves.
This colors our interactions with others. Anger is the response to perceived hostile invasions of self. The angry person is likely to interpret
exchanges with others as attacks on self.
Behind the rage is a most painful insecurity. Because we feel small, weak and vulnerable, we believe we must
protect ourselves with all our might, even if relationships are damaged in the
process (Zahl, pp. 13, 14). If the lion’s share of our emotional
energy is devoted to fighting a sense of judgment, we won’t be able to handle
negativity nor will we be able to risk intimacy. God’s answer is the healing power of the Gospel. The
atonement of Christ has healing power. When we allow others to carry our
value instead of depending upon the work of Christ, we are still wed to fleshly
strategies for warding off judgment.
These flesh strategies further damage our humanity and our
relationships. When we use our pain to
hurt others, we are living in sin (Zahl, p. 45). God loves us too much to allow this
situation to continue indefinitely in His child. Because of God’s fatherly care, He allows our defenses to
fail. He does this because He wants our
souls and our relationships healed (Eli Ashdown, The Saving Health of the
Gospel, p. 101-108). Our fear of judgment is so strong,
we will not repent of our fleshly strategies until we believe that the
atonement has the power to heal our fear and replace our need of
self-protection. That daily consent to
suffer Another to work for us is the key.
Jerry Bridges refers to this as preaching the Gospel to oneself every
day. Says Bridges, since we sin
every day, we need to preach the Gospel to ourselves every day (Jerry
Bridges, The Discipline of Grace, pp. 123, 124). The
Gospel’s healing power comes about through ongoing repentance. Since fleshly strategies of managing
condemnation further damage our humanity and our relationships, repentance is
called for. We
are to repent of the destructive fortifications that we have habitually
employed. When we hear that our worth is
established by God, we are enabled to move from carnal control to liberty,
heroism, and realism. There is great
power in God regarding us righteous in Christ.
We can face negativity without being radically diminished. We can face the worst news about ourselves
without our value being threatened. By contrast, when we are always fighting against negativity and fear,
our lives are characterized by a cowardly escape from judgment. The cross leads us out of escape, denial,
and blame. The atonement enables us to
“assimilate” negativity, processing it with courage and realism. (The Psalms provide an ideal model of this
processing of negativity. John Calvin
referred to the Psalms as a complete anatomy of the human heart.) “God is glorified when we believe with
all our hearts that those who trust in Christ can never be condemned. [When we] live in the good of total
forgiveness, we are able to turn from old, sinful ways of living and walk in grace-motivated obedience” (C. J.
Mahaney, The Cross Centered Life, pp. 39, 40). The imputed righteousness granted in
justification gives believers the legal right and responsibility to come out of
hiding and deal with sin courageously in ongoing repentance. This always involves forsaking false refuges
and strategies designed to defer judgment.
Jesus’ righteous regard of the Christian
enables him to see himself in truth and to accept the truth about himself. He can admit his bondage, his failure, his
suffering, and his compulsive sin.
Justification gives us the courage to admit the suffering our sin has
caused in our lives and the lives of others. A mighty redemption has broken sin’s
bondage, yet believers still carry the tendency to defend and fight against
judgment. We are all too aware of our
failures, inadequacy, and guilt. The
temptation is to return to the old refuges and strategies for protection from
judgment. What is needed is renewed
appropriation of the Gospel, for that alone is the source of heroism. Justification in the Son of God establishes
a secure status that produces courage. The
atonement gives us the courage to forgive others. Nowhere is more courage needed than in
the area of relational hurt. Hiding,
pretending, attacking, and defending keep short-circuiting any hope of
restoration. The courage born of justification enables
the believer to deal with the alienation and ache of offenses committed both by
him and against him. The truth of
justification gives the power to forgive freely and to be freely forgiven (Eph
4:32). Nothing short of heroism is necessary in
order for the Body of Christ to build itself up in love. When believers are self-protective and
defensive, they are unable to give and receive admonishment (Rom 15:14). It is the justified man who is wise enough
to receive a genuine admonishment born of love. Because he knows he is justified, yet a sinner, he can
admit when he is wrong without being diminished. Conclusion: So much of our self-protection,
pretending, and hiding our hearts from God and each other is because we do not
understand the present value of the cross.
The finished work of Christ is perfectly suited for dealing with every
sin and the fruit of every sin. The
present value of the cross allows the believer to process the most
horrendous things about himself. This
is because no fact or negative truth can harm the saint’s perfect standing in
Christ before God. The cross works across the grain of
the flesh. It opposes the
self-preservation strategies that turn upon self-sufficiency. God calls His people to childlike
vulnerability before Him. We must be
willing to be searched (Ps 139). The
Scriptures join lowliness of mind with contrition (Is 57:15; 66:2). Guarded dungeons of pain keep us
from receiving God’s love in new areas of our being. Christ calls His people to make appointments with Him in these
dungeons. He wants us to dismiss our
guards and give Him the opportunity to apply His grace to these heart
prisons. He is perfectly qualified for
this. He is the Sympathetic High Priest
who empathizes and identifies with all of our weakness and pain. In His suffering for us, He
identified Himself with the sorrows and exigencies of the human condition. His priesthood addresses both the guilt of
sin and the effects of sin. He wants us
to desist from our schemes of carnal management and call upon Him for new
supplies of grace and mercy (Heb 4:15, 16). His priestly mercy is available to
us in areas that we are used to controlling.
These areas include sin, weakness, failure, rejection, disillusionment,
inadequacy, helplessness, pain, and suffering. Realism before God is a hard won
asset. Strategies to defend our pain and
woundedness tend to be habitual and instinctive. The Psalmist is willing to meet God in some very painful
places. There are prayers with themes
of despair, despondency, depression, betrayal, disillusionment, resentment,
guilt, and injustice. Agonizing
memories and ache of soul are a common theme. When a believer refuses to
accept appointments with God in these areas of negativity, these same areas
become “sealed off” from the full benefit of God’s grace. When appointments with Christ in our regions
of pain are consistently refused, the heart builds prisons to house these
unacceptable negatives. The result of sealing off the pain
is often a host of defenses that manifest themselves in our relationships. Our hearts are no longer tender before God
because we have refused to “pour out our hearts to God” (Ps 62:5-8). Sealing off pain is a symptom of
flight from judgment. It causes us to
split off from the very regions of our hearts that are needed for godly passion
and Christian compassion. Unless our
heart prisons of pain are allowed to come in contact with God, it is very
unlikely that we will be able to weep with those who weep (Rom 12:15). The Apostle Paul makes it clear,
those who draw abundantly from God’s comfort amidst their suffering are best
equipped to comfort others (2 Cor 1:3-6). It is a mercy that God lets our
defenses fail. Affliction is sent by
God to break up the lime scale of our carnal strategies. A constant use of carnal defenses builds up
layers of protection that inhibit our ability to enjoy intimate contact with
God. Only the cross can put these
self-life strategies out of business. When we endure God’s chastening, it
is unto a grace awakening. During
affliction, God empties out our secret coffers of merit. He takes us back to the Publican who has
nothing but sin. He causes our defenses
to fail (this can be catastrophic to us, it may feel like God is against
us). He orchestrates all of this that
He might restore us to a place of child-like reliance and vulnerability before
Him. Only by fresh views of our
depravity, including our defenses, will we be able to marvel again at the
unfathomable riches of Christ our righteousness (Jer 23:6). |
